You’re 18. You are not, apparently, of above average intelligence. You and your friend have just stolen a BMW.
It doesn’t matter where you’re going. You’re going. You’re styling. You’re cruisin’. You’re free. You’re cool.
For the moment, anyway, you’re a one percenter, and you’ve stuck it to The Man who owned this fine machine. What does he care? He’s got insurance. He can afford it.
But there are two of you, and somehow you’re sitting shotgun, not behind the wheel. Damn! You want a taste for yourself of what the Ultimate Driving Machine feels like in your hands and under your foot. So you say, “My turn to drive.”
Eff off, your partner says.
What’re you gonna do? Kill him with the revolver in your waistband, the one you used to scare the crap out of the BMW owner? Nah.
But praise the Lord, there’s a Porsche on the side of the road. Both of you know what to do.
Your stolen BMW pulls up behind the Porsche. You jump out, grabbing the .38 .
“Beat it, dude,” you tell the Porsche driver. “I’ll blow your head off. And leave the keys.”
The driver raises his hands, gets out, backs away.
“Don’t kill me,” he says.
“Go on,” you say, “run.”
You smile at your buddy in that piddly ass BMW. BMW? Ha! That’s for old ladies. You’re about to take off in an effin’ Porsche. Your buddy says he’ll meet you at the place. Yeah, you say, laughing. Come on, in about 15 seconds, you’re gonna pass the sucker like he’s standing still.
You climb in and put the gun on the Porsche’s shotgun seat. And start up the engine. Man, listen to that thing roar. Oh, this is going to be something.
A pedal to the left of the brake?! And where’s the ‘D’ on the tranny? In fact, where the hell is the tranny? What’s that stick in there, on the console? What does it do? And why’s the guy who owns the thing laughing, calling someone on his cell?
NEWARK, N.J. (AP) – Federal prosecutors say a New Jersey man whose bid to carjack a Porsche failed because he couldn’t drive a stick shift is now headed to prison.
Anthony Reynolds of Newark received a 55-month sentence Monday. He had pleaded guilty last September to motor vehicle theft.
Prosecutors say the 18-year-old Reynolds and an accomplice were traveling in a stolen BMW when they came up behind a Porsche 911 Turbo in Newark in March 2012.
Armed with a .38 caliber revolver, Reynolds ordered the Porsche owner out of the car. But his accomplice took off in the BMW, leaving Reynolds to struggle with the Porsche’s manual transmission.
The Porsche’s owner flagged down police and Reynolds tried to flee on foot. But he was captured after a brief chase.